Renew and Refresh

It’s “nap time” in the Minihan house. It’s been a few years since Ive been able to say those wonderful words!! I’ve ALWAYS been a napper. I love the feeling of falling into my bed, snuggling in and shutting my eyes and my brain off. My kids were always nappers too!! Like it or not, you got 2-3 hours in your room to power down and reset so mommy could too 😃 I even remember having my 3rd kiddo, in half day kindergarten. He was assigned to the afternoon half days but I pushed for (and succeeded) in getting him into the morning class. At 5/6 he STILL needed his sleep, and so did mom, who was always pregnant or just had a new baby! Lol

When I was in the hospital after my TM attack, I was SO blessed to have my grandma aka granny, and Brian’s (and mine) aunt Michele to care for my littles. Every single day they were there without fail! How amazing is that?? My kids got spoiled and cared for by their great grandma and great aunt, what lucky kiddos. Of all the worries I had during my stay in the cardiac unit and in Rehab (believe me there were A LOT of things to worry/obsess about) my children being cared for was not even on the chart. I have told them (granny and aunt Michele) but I don’t ever think they will truly understand, what a BLESSING that was to me/us. I won’t go into it too much here right now, but the guilt I felt/still feel over what my kids endured throughout this journey, was astronomical!! Who amongst us, that are parents, don’t struggle with guilt on the regular?!? Raise your hand if you go to bed each night thinking about how you could do better... how you couldn’t have handled something differently, who you were to hard on, etc... 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ so when I say it was a total blessing to not feel guilt over how my kids were going to be cared for in my absence, please know there are no words to accurately convey the relief and peace we felt. If y’all don’t have a granny or aunt Michele, you are missing out!!

Back to nap time... while I was absent, nap time in the Minihan House was MIA as well 😬 Granny and Aunt M didn’t want to be the “bad guys” and shouldn’t have to be. I’ve already told my kids... when you have babies, you’re the parent who has to teach, monitor and discipline your kids. My job as grams (totally calling grams for my “grandma name”) is to spoil, love on, sugar up, and send them home 😉 Yes, I will back your parenting choices but Grams is NOT the enforcer!! Coming home to a 2 and 5 year old who didn’t nap anymore was a very small price to pay for knowing my kids were cared for and loved 24/7.

This week, we stole our great nephew Max for the week. He is 2 1/2 and AWESOME ❤️ He’s hilarious, and really smart and so incredibly sweet to his auntie. The kids have been begging for months, since our last Max abduction, and I promised we would take him over Fall Break. For those of you that don’t know, in our SD in AZ, we are on modified year round, which we love. Our kids start school the last week of July, have a 2 week break in October, a few extra days over Christmas and a two week break for spring. We stop school mid May so the kids only have a 2 months + 1/2 week break instead of 3 months. We absolutely love it and it works great for our weather pattern of beautiful, truly gorgeous weather, from late Oct-Mid May and then 4 1/2-5 months of feeling like we live on the actual SUN ☀️🥵😩 So anyways, we steal our Max mostly because we adore him and slightly because I/we SO remember what it was like to have two kids, working full time and trying to foster a marriage as well. It is HARD WORK friends and who wouldn’t want to have a break?!? Our niece Katelyn has been married to Zack for 5/6 years. They got married super young, joined the military, and had 2 adorable boys shortly after. That is A LOT and Uncle B and I are beyond proud of how they are crushing it all. We are so thrilled to have them stationed in Tucson a short 90-100 minute drive away. We love being able to help and see their boys grow, and we can’t wait to have baby Maverick here in the crazy mix 😍

A big “challenge” to having Max here with a slightly bruised and bent auntie is that he has retry much goes from sun up to well after sun down. He NEVER slows down much, asks questions (I mean super smart questions) non stop and isn’t a fan of sitting down to chill 😂 We forget each time how much work is built into the fun. Totally, TOTALLY worth it, but an awesome reminder for us “old folks” that “starting over” is not something we want to do! Lol Each day, I’ve been turning on a movie and “forcing” him to lay down. Within minutes he is passed out, the boys go outside and mom/auntie gets a much needed break!!

Naps are an amazing way to refresh your heart and mind and reset your day. Naps are not just for kids 😉 Even without naps, we all need the time to step away and reboot. My favorite thing to do for my kids and myself is to do a “forced reset” to “factory settings” lol I will tell my kids, you need to go to your room, calm down, count, cry, whatever and come back and see me when you have your poop in a group!! We all need that from time to time and as adults, it’s harder to recognize in ourselves, but we need it even more than our kiddos.

If you are struggling or just having a bad day, do yourself and everyone else a favor and have a small timeout! We can’t all have daily naps, but we can all take a few minutes in our car, our rooms, or hiding in our closets (🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️) to reset. Put your head down, let go of the frustration, stop trying to “solve” the problem and just breath. For me, I pray A LOT during these times. I ask God to rule over my words and my actions, especially my words!! I ask him to still my heart and give me peace, point me in the right direction and take my burden from me and MOST importantly help me let go of my false sense of “control” Believe me, of all the lessons I’ve learned in the last 4 years, realizing over and over and OVER again that I am NOT in control, and I don’t want to be!! Is by far, the hardest and most helpful lesson I’ve ever had to learn. More on that later.

For now, if you are feeling stressed or depressed, anxious and out of control, take a lesson from Max and take a break!! Close your eyes and your mind and open your heart to peace and rest ❤️

Nicole 💕💕